Passion, vision and looking forward

I've been thinking a lot about this lately and been hearing in various places about "My life going forward". Interestingly, it's also got me thinking about my life in the recent past.

A little less than a year ago, I picked up a book on the advice of a friend. That book is the The Barbarian Way by Erwin Rafael McManus. I read through it and found that my passion, my vision and my "life going forward" were dramatically changed as a result. It wasn't so much McManus's ideas that changed me, but the way he framed scripture that changed me.

For years, I have sat in church or at home and read in my Bible these words:

"The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life." Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very soul?" Luke 9:20-25

I don't know about you, dear reader, but it was easy for me over the last 45 years to gloss over this and pretend Jesus wasn't saying that the Christian life would cost me something. For years, I believed something more akin to this version--quoting from McManus here:

"So what is this good news? The refined and civilized version goes something like this: Jesus died and rose from the dead so that you can live a life of endless comfort, security, and indulgence. But really this is a bit too developed. Usually it's more like this: if you'll simply confess that you're a sinner and believe in Jesus, you'll be saved from the torment of eternal hellfire, then go to heaven when you die. Either case results in our domestication. One holds out for life to begin in eternity, and the other makes a mockery out of life."

Again, quoting from McManus, "The original call of Jesus was so simple, so clean, so clear: "Follow Me." He wants us to surrender our lives to Him and follow Him into the unknown. And if it means a life of suffering, hardship, and disappointment, it will be worth it because following Jesus Christ is more powerful and more fulfilling than living with everything in the world minus Him."

When my husband and I woke up to this the first time (November of last year), our plans for a comfortable retirement at 50 or 55 with a condo in Florida and playing for the rest of our lives suddenly seemed an empty and hollow goal. Is this really what we're supposed to do? Is my life really only supposed to be about my pleasure? Is that all there is for the 2nd half of my life?

This was actually an astounding set of questions for us to be asking. We'd planned this for so long, been dreaming of the day for 24 years when our children were grown and we could finally enjoy what we had to set aside when we first learned our daughter was on the way. We'd watched friends play in their 20's and early 30's, finally settling down to have children when our daughter was heading into the tween years. We'd scraped and saved to raise a family on our early career salaries. I'd foregone the stay-at-home Mom role, so that we could pay rent, eat, etc. Now with the youngest out of high school, we were finally going to get our turn. Until we read this book and until we saw a drama at church.

The drama compared two middle-aged couples. One waiting to hear if their application to become missionaries in Guatemala was accepted, the other waiting to hear if their application for a mortgage on a condo in Florida was approved. The message? What's your life going to be about going forward?

Some of you know what happened next, and if you do, please scroll down so you don't have to read it again.  Some do not!  About the same time, I came across a picture of a boy and then saw that he had a brother.  These two boys were 11 and 10 and in foster care due to educational neglect.  And God said, in a very clear whisper to my heart, "Bring them home."  We spent the next 6 months jumping through all the hoops the state required in order to follow God's command to bring them home.  They've been with us now for 4 months and  exactly one year and two days after God whispered to my heart, they will become our sons forever.

Jesus said "Follow Me".  He never said it would be easy. He never said it would be fair. He never said we would get everything we wanted.  In fact, He made it very clear...If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

So what is my "life going forward"?  I will give up the world's definition of a successful life and fully embrace Jesus's definition.

I'm following.....

Why I'm not becoming a democrat either...

As I said in a previous post, I would call myself a fiscal conservative who is demanding social justice.

Neither party of our current two party system fits that definition.

The Republicans bill themselves as the party of fiscal conservatism but the last 8 years, under President Bush, proved them to be as big spenders as the Democrats.

The Democrats seem to think that any problem can be solved if we just throw enough money at it.

Where is the party who believes that we should spend no more than we take in and who believes that the states are in a better position to make spending decisions than Washington?

Where is the party that believes in true social justice?

Who is clamoring for fairer sentencing laws?

Who is clamoring for school choice so that parents can send their children to schools that are making the grade rather than failing?

Who is clamoring for choice, true choice in health care?

Who is clamoring for capital investment into our inner cities so that they don't become havens of crime?

Who is clamoring for social programs that work rather than those that put a bandaid on the severed artery and call it good?

Who is demanding good manufacturing jobs here in America and refusing to take political campaign money from companies who ship jobs over seas?

Where is the church? Why isn't she demanding social justice?

Ok... those are today's thoughts. No answers yet, just lots of questions...

Why I am not so enamored with the Republican Right anymore....

Ok, I'll admit it. I used to be a right-wing fanatical talk show addict... I've even called in and talked to some of the big guys... O'Reilly and Hannity in particular... Now I'm having a hard time stomaching their screaming vitriol.

(Quick sideline... I looked up vitriol to make sure I was spelling it correctly and using it correctly. Here's the link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vitriol. Isn't it interesting that the second definition is sulfuric acid and the third is something highly caustic or severe in effect, as in criticism. Hmmmm.....ponder with me for a second, would you?)

And the Left is just as vitriolic.

Where is the polite discussion? Why are we so polarized as a nation? Why are we so quick to believe what is being spewed on the airwaves by either side?

I'll be honest again and say that I voted for McCain/Palin. I liked their policies better than I liked Obama's. However, I'll also be honest and say that there are times where I wish I could tell my two youngest sons that I voted for Obama. See, to them, they simply see the first black American president. And to them, that is reason enough.

I've decided now that I need a third party to choose from. One that is fiscally conservative, but socially just. I can't say that of either of the two parties we currently have.

Here's another political musing for you.

Democrat - derived from the Greek word demokratia - essentially means a proponent of government by the people

Republican - derived from the Latin rēspūblica and means a proponent of government of the people

I found this interesting too. It's from The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Republic - A form of government in which power is explicitly vested in the people, who in turn exercise their power through elected representatives. Today, the terms republic and democracy are virtually interchangeable, but historically the two differed. Democracy implied direct rule by the people, all of whom were equal, whereas republic implied a system of government in which the will of the people was mediated by representatives, who might be wiser and better educated than the average person. In the early American republic, for example, the requirement that voters own property and the establishment of institutions such as the Electoral College were intended to cushion the government from the direct expression of the popular will.

I also looked into these two philosophies:

Libertarian - The libertarian, or "classical liberal," perspective is that individual well-being, prosperity, and social harmony are fostered by "as much liberty as possible" and "as little government as necessary. Hmmm, that's somewhat interesting.

Christian Democratic - They could loosely be described as "compassionate conservatives", socially conservative and fiscally moderate to liberal. In some respects they are the opposite of the Libertarian Party. They generally follow Christian moral principles and so are against abortion and for human rights. Hmmm, also interesting...

So what's a mom to do? I have no idea.... yet.... any suggestions?

Here goes nothing!

I don't know if anyone will read this, or if anyone cares what I think, but I'm throwing it out into cyberspace and we'll see what comes back.

As I was setting up my blog, I was thinking of how to best to describe myself. I guess the best way is this:

I'm a middle-aged, middle-class mom from the Midwest who now finds herself tenuously holding onto the political middle ground while seeking to follow her King.

I would not have embraced this description a year ago or even a month ago, but I'm now proud to say it.

I've been married almost 25 years to my best friend and we have 4 children, two whom we birthed and two who are being added to our family through adoption from the foster care system. My husband and I follow Jesus, however not all of my children have embraced Him as we have.

The past three years have brought big changes to my thoughts and beliefs. Not my faith, I've been a Christian for longer than I have been married, but how I act on my faith.

Three years ago, we were told that a new campus for our church was going to open with the goal of "integrating Sunday morning". We jumped at the opportunity to help pioneer this church. We've lived in the St. Louis area for more than 6 years but were dismayed by how racially segregated this region is and wanted to be involved in helping that to change. I'd say this was the catalyst for my thought metamorphosis.

As I interacted with my new brothers and sisters whom we've met through the church, they have changed me in profound ways. My own prejudices were revealed, even though I was sure I didn't have any, and I was forced to confront them and change. As I changed those, I realized my political beliefs, as a former rabid Republican, were changing as well. My approach to faith changed too as I could no longer be a casual, consumer Christian.

Ok, that's enough for today.....