Lessons I Am Learning From A Friend

A good friend of mine has been in ICU fighting pneumonia for the last few days and he's on my heart tonight as I write. Lately, Bob has been speaking a few things into my life. By lately, I mean that every time we have more than 1 to 2 minutes to speak, he reminds me of these three things.

1. Learn to say no.
2. Slow down.
3. Learn to be silent before God.

Bob, I can promise I'll do #3. I'm working on #1 and #2.

Get better quickly, Bob. Lord, we need him back, please bring complete healing for him and peace and comfort for his family.

I’m on a flight headed back to Seattle for a quick visit with my family, and I’m really looking forward to a brief respite from the life to which God has called me. I am thankful for my grown children who have agreed to make this weekend possible for Brian and I and I am thankful for good friends who have agreed to help them.

I’m pondering, this morning, the comment of a coworker recently who said she couldn’t imagine the stress I am under, nor could she imagine doing what God has called us to do, or why we would choose to do what we are doing. I’m also reminded of the shock that our embarkation on this journey was to at least 75% of the people we know. This was such a huge deviation from how our lives were expected to unfold by ourselves and those who surround us. We must look like we’ve lost our minds.

But, personally, I am thankful for that deviation. We were headed full speed down a highway to a meaningless and selfish destination. That destination? A comfortable life. A life lived working 40 hours during the week and which would allow us to be carefree on the weekend. A life lived in waiting, where we waited, patiently or in my case impatiently, for grandchildren to arrive so that we would have purpose again. A life spent amassing more money so that at age 55 we could quit working and play nonstop.

Thank you, God, for the detour.

Matthew West’s song, The Motions, captures my thoughts today better than I can say them myself. Here are the lyrics. If I can post a link to the song, I will.

This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break
Least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok’s not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions.
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me.
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
“What if I had given everything?”
Instead of going through the motions.

No regrets, not this time
Gonna let my heart defeat my mind.
Let Your love make me whole.
I think I’m finally feeling something.
“Cause just ok’s not enough.
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life.

I don’t wanna go through the motions.
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me.
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
“What if I had given everything?”
Instead of going through the motions.

Consume me all the way, take me all the way
Consume me all the way, ‘cause I don’t wanna go through the motions.
Consume me all the way, I’m finally feeling something real
Consume me all the way.

I don’t wanna go through the motions.

So what is the rest of this life going to look like for me? I honestly have no idea. It’s as though my way forward is illuminated only a few feet ahead of me. Right now and for the next six years, we must raise these boys into young men. What’s after that? And is that all we are called to do for the next six years? Or does God have more for us to be doing while raising M & D? Who knows, perhaps God will bring more children into our life. There are rumblings in the distance that that may be the case, but nothing is close enough to hear clearly.

I only know that I am unsettled.

I’m following my King. I don’t know where He is leading, but I do know that I can see Him ahead and hear His voice calling for me to keep following.

An Unconventional Life "Going Forward"

So, using my last post as a jumping off point (you'll have to go back and read it if you haven't already), following Jesus is going to lead me into an "Unconventional Life" or in McManus's words, "a barbaric life". A life fueled by His passion, a "Genuine" life, if you will.

Our growth group this fall is studying The Barbarian Way (by the way, not by my suggestion, but at the suggestion of another member). It's been good for me to go back through this book. Our church, as an entire congregation, is beginning a study of I John, a small little letter toward the back of the Bible, but with big implications. You can't read that letter and not be forced to choose. Am I going to live life as a "genuine" follower of Jesus and embrace all that means, or am I going to gloss over John's call for authenticity and pretend it won't affect me?

Choosing to live the authentic, genuine or "barbaric" life as a Christ follower will profoundly affect me and it's ripple effect will spread to those around me. Those nearest to me will have to make roughly that same decision as they are looking at my life as well. Will I investigate the changes in my friend's/coworker's/spouse's/parent's life and follow Jesus as well, or will I pretend that what has changed her won't change me or our relationship?

My life should point people to Jesus and if I'm following "in his steps" then those around me must make the decision to come along, or watch me walk away. Seems a bit harsh, doesn't it? But isn't that the reality? I'm moving, I'm following, and if you aren't following too, then we will be moving apart from one another, won't we?

I have a decision to make too! I'm following and I see that you aren't. Do I turn around and go back to where you are standing? Or do I keep my focus and continue on? I can't beg you to come with me, you have to make that decision yourself.

Jesus told us over and over again that a life of following him would be costly. But for each of us the cost of following will be completely different. McManus points to this Scripture from John 21 as proof:

¹⁵When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

¹⁶Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. ¹⁸ I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." ¹⁹Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

²⁰Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") ²¹When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"

²²Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."

You, dear reader, will probably not be called to be crucified as Jesus was for us. You probably won't be martyred by being crucified upside down as Peter was, or martyred in a den of lions. You probably won't be called to give up your retirement plans and adopt two boys from foster care.

But you are being called to follow Jesus and following him will cost you everything you are.